“It is by vivacity and wit that man shines in company; but trite jokes and loud laughter reduce him to a buffoon. “ ~ Lord Chesterfield
I return again with great narrative strength cull from an afternoon’s encounter with a Buffoon. There’s nothing amusing at all about a fella who is a class clown, and has been for decades. This is a grown man who is totally inept and ludicrous with childish mannerism. He is nothing more than an underachiever with delusion of grandeur. Absolutely boorish.
I am sure we have all had these unfortunate encounters before. This is a collective narration of stories I’ve heard or have experienced in the course of my curried life.
Where does one find a Buffoon? Easy.
Did I say buffet and a free meal in the same breath? Why Cheapskate Buffoon’s there with his family in tow. He is the artful one who tells his children “Boys, quickly, take two of the big prawns each! Don’t be shy; use your elbows to get right in! Make Papa proud, your plate can hold more. More...”
If there are extra tickets for the company’s dinner table, he will ask half of the staff if they are agreeable to attend whilst making wishful remarks to take his girlfriend or wife to the dinner and save money on the night’s meal.
At the same company’s dinner, he will be the last to leave as he waits to poach the lucky draw stubs from other tables. He will gloat at his good fortune of amassing a small pile of ticket stubs whilst he waits for the first prize to be drawn. Then he will make a ruckus in direct proportion to his bitter disappointment of not winning the first prize with his ill-gotten gains.
Did I mention that at dinner he will down a bottle of good wine liberally and ask the host loudly why he doesn’t get a buzz after a glass? “Err; you buy this from discount wholesaler arr?”
Faint.
Foul mouth Buffoon gains looks for his loutish behaviour which he mistakenly believes to be envy of his great social and conversational skills.
He is the one who swear liberally everywhere using ill-mannered coarse language and profanity which is both contemptible in behaviour and appearance.
He is one whose behaviour leaps over the normal limits.
Raw and crude, he hits out at anything and everything. Some says he’s angry. All the time? 24/7? He’s just as ease with the C-word as he is f***king **** away. Once when confronted, he even explained there’s general f***king as compared to f***king ****, f***king ****!
Someone bring out the detergent and industrial strength bleach! This boy needs an oral hygienist pronto!
The Sniffing Buffoon will inevitably glide up to young women and sniff their perfume deeply, appreciatively. Usually with loud disgusting snorts. He will ask for the brand they are wearing and price on the pretext of buying the same for his girlfriend. Then in the same breath, he will ask the girls if they have a spare sample that he could try first. Just in case…
As a Buffoon repellent?
Come to think of it, Crapping Buffoon is the one making toilet jokes at meal times. In fact, it’s anytime. It’s amazing that strange fascination with faeces is called fecalphile. He describes cheese cake as creamy dung. He is apt to ask a colleague coming out of the rest room, if it was a big or little job. He goes on to ask of colour, consistency and aroma.
“Does it still cling on the bowl,” he will holler after that poor embarrassed colleague’s quick exit.
The rest of his fascination no one really wants to know. Seriously.
Or the one who can’t seem to hold his sneezes in. He sneezes loudly over food. He sneezes when talking. During conference call. Over materials, boards, samples, graphs, documents. Whatever.
“Sneezing is reflex”, says the Buffon. “It’s like an orgasm.” DUH.
You will surely know of the Buffoon who coughs up phlegm or blows out his nasal mucus with the bathroom door open so that evreyone can be entertained by his one man bodily orchestra beat box.
Hey, there is a purpose to a bathroom door in case you didn’t notice. It’s to keep the noise in, STOOPID!
Small children are fascinated by farts that we can all understand. Blowing submarine bubbles is fine when you’re five. However Crapping Buffon takes loud farts to a new level, totally unabashed; he will ask if others find the “aroma” of his sneaky little farts appealing. Or let loose with a few booming ones.
Disgusting.
Hamsap Buffoon once shared his dreams of having a day job as a gynaecologist and weekend job as a Brassiere salesman.
Often almost without self-censoring, Hamsap Buffoon vocalises his lecherous thoughts with lewd remarks. Of course he has many; including an abnormal interest in children. Once he said that some primary school girls are ripe for the picking. He had hopes of eliciting a few laughs from members of the crowd.
How a pervert can expect to be funny with comments bordering on paedophilia? Clearly there is something seriously wrong with his “friends” who laugh and thinks this is a joke.
It brings to mind, a lecherous man who usually dribbles and has a maniac glint in his eyes, leers at anything that moves on two legs with the sole thought of sex on his mind which is magically satiated by his wife who supplies visual aids like pin up girls' desk calendars for his work desk. He supplements other visual needs with desktop pictures of bikini clad girls in salacious detail, dehumanized and objectifying women.
Sometimes Hamsap Buffoon like these will boast of their libidinous conquests. If often starts with the girlfriends he has had. The more eloquent ones will however, make mere words pale in the light of their experience. Certain supposedly prolific ones will write tomes on their “triumphs”.
Just about any inanimate object becomes sexual in Hamsap Buffoon’s vocabulary.
Road Bully Buffoon is an angry person with aggressive behaviour behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. He exhibits aggressive driving, chases other motorists, flashing lights and sounding the horn excessively.
He yells, shouts, cusses and hurls verbal abuses and threats. He assaults other motorists, their passengers, cyclists or pedestrians verbally and physically. He exits his car to start confrontations and strike other vehicles with an object. Possessed by rage Road Bully Buffoon’s behaviour is over the top aggressive and violent.
An angry look is all Road Bully Buffoon needs to increase his level of rage. So do not make eye contact. Get away as quickly as possible. Choose an alternative route to your destination, do not go home. Go straight to the nearest police station and file a complaint/report immediately when you arrive there.
Do not endanger yourself by trying to evade Road Bully Buffoon. Drive the speed limit and observe all traffic rules.
Racist/Homophobic Buffon has an intense or irrational dislike or fear of people of other races and/or sexual orientation.
What is worse…The “F-word” or the “R-word?
Our Buffoon is also Homophobic in nature. He passes judgement equally as fast as he displays a wide range of negative attitudes and comments towards people who are identified or perceived as being LGBT.
He is also of the opinion that his race is far superior to members of a certain race who may share certain attributes which make that group as a whole less desirable or inferior as perceived by him.
Stemmed from his multiple complexes that only a clinical psychologist can diagnose the Buffoon’s perception and world view is largely flawed. A danger to himself and a society of normal people.
The seriousness of behavioural problem and pattern with sub-culture of loutish Buffoon behaviour must stop. Such tardiness is appalling and it needs to be dealt with.
Collectively we should have no tolerance and should not tolerate comments containing violence, racism, vulgarity, and profanity.
Which bring to the fact that this all changes; depending on who rules the world?
What do you think?
“Hamsap” is a Cantonese word for pervert which normally refer to a lecherous man.
I return again with great narrative strength cull from an afternoon’s encounter with a Buffoon. There’s nothing amusing at all about a fella who is a class clown, and has been for decades. This is a grown man who is totally inept and ludicrous with childish mannerism. He is nothing more than an underachiever with delusion of grandeur. Absolutely boorish.
I am sure we have all had these unfortunate encounters before. This is a collective narration of stories I’ve heard or have experienced in the course of my curried life.
1
Where does one find a Buffoon? Easy.
Did I say buffet and a free meal in the same breath? Why Cheapskate Buffoon’s there with his family in tow. He is the artful one who tells his children “Boys, quickly, take two of the big prawns each! Don’t be shy; use your elbows to get right in! Make Papa proud, your plate can hold more. More...”
If there are extra tickets for the company’s dinner table, he will ask half of the staff if they are agreeable to attend whilst making wishful remarks to take his girlfriend or wife to the dinner and save money on the night’s meal.
At the same company’s dinner, he will be the last to leave as he waits to poach the lucky draw stubs from other tables. He will gloat at his good fortune of amassing a small pile of ticket stubs whilst he waits for the first prize to be drawn. Then he will make a ruckus in direct proportion to his bitter disappointment of not winning the first prize with his ill-gotten gains.
Did I mention that at dinner he will down a bottle of good wine liberally and ask the host loudly why he doesn’t get a buzz after a glass? “Err; you buy this from discount wholesaler arr?”
Faint.
2
Foul mouth Buffoon gains looks for his loutish behaviour which he mistakenly believes to be envy of his great social and conversational skills.
He is the one who swear liberally everywhere using ill-mannered coarse language and profanity which is both contemptible in behaviour and appearance.
He is one whose behaviour leaps over the normal limits.
Raw and crude, he hits out at anything and everything. Some says he’s angry. All the time? 24/7? He’s just as ease with the C-word as he is f***king **** away. Once when confronted, he even explained there’s general f***king as compared to f***king ****, f***king ****!
Someone bring out the detergent and industrial strength bleach! This boy needs an oral hygienist pronto!
3
The Sniffing Buffoon will inevitably glide up to young women and sniff their perfume deeply, appreciatively. Usually with loud disgusting snorts. He will ask for the brand they are wearing and price on the pretext of buying the same for his girlfriend. Then in the same breath, he will ask the girls if they have a spare sample that he could try first. Just in case…
As a Buffoon repellent?
4
Come to think of it, Crapping Buffoon is the one making toilet jokes at meal times. In fact, it’s anytime. It’s amazing that strange fascination with faeces is called fecalphile. He describes cheese cake as creamy dung. He is apt to ask a colleague coming out of the rest room, if it was a big or little job. He goes on to ask of colour, consistency and aroma.
“Does it still cling on the bowl,” he will holler after that poor embarrassed colleague’s quick exit.
The rest of his fascination no one really wants to know. Seriously.
Or the one who can’t seem to hold his sneezes in. He sneezes loudly over food. He sneezes when talking. During conference call. Over materials, boards, samples, graphs, documents. Whatever.
“Sneezing is reflex”, says the Buffon. “It’s like an orgasm.” DUH.
You will surely know of the Buffoon who coughs up phlegm or blows out his nasal mucus with the bathroom door open so that evreyone can be entertained by his one man bodily orchestra beat box.
Hey, there is a purpose to a bathroom door in case you didn’t notice. It’s to keep the noise in, STOOPID!
Small children are fascinated by farts that we can all understand. Blowing submarine bubbles is fine when you’re five. However Crapping Buffon takes loud farts to a new level, totally unabashed; he will ask if others find the “aroma” of his sneaky little farts appealing. Or let loose with a few booming ones.
Disgusting.
5
Hamsap Buffoon once shared his dreams of having a day job as a gynaecologist and weekend job as a Brassiere salesman.
Often almost without self-censoring, Hamsap Buffoon vocalises his lecherous thoughts with lewd remarks. Of course he has many; including an abnormal interest in children. Once he said that some primary school girls are ripe for the picking. He had hopes of eliciting a few laughs from members of the crowd.
How a pervert can expect to be funny with comments bordering on paedophilia? Clearly there is something seriously wrong with his “friends” who laugh and thinks this is a joke.
It brings to mind, a lecherous man who usually dribbles and has a maniac glint in his eyes, leers at anything that moves on two legs with the sole thought of sex on his mind which is magically satiated by his wife who supplies visual aids like pin up girls' desk calendars for his work desk. He supplements other visual needs with desktop pictures of bikini clad girls in salacious detail, dehumanized and objectifying women.
Sometimes Hamsap Buffoon like these will boast of their libidinous conquests. If often starts with the girlfriends he has had. The more eloquent ones will however, make mere words pale in the light of their experience. Certain supposedly prolific ones will write tomes on their “triumphs”.
Just about any inanimate object becomes sexual in Hamsap Buffoon’s vocabulary.
6
Road Bully Buffoon is an angry person with aggressive behaviour behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. He exhibits aggressive driving, chases other motorists, flashing lights and sounding the horn excessively.
He yells, shouts, cusses and hurls verbal abuses and threats. He assaults other motorists, their passengers, cyclists or pedestrians verbally and physically. He exits his car to start confrontations and strike other vehicles with an object. Possessed by rage Road Bully Buffoon’s behaviour is over the top aggressive and violent.
An angry look is all Road Bully Buffoon needs to increase his level of rage. So do not make eye contact. Get away as quickly as possible. Choose an alternative route to your destination, do not go home. Go straight to the nearest police station and file a complaint/report immediately when you arrive there.
Do not endanger yourself by trying to evade Road Bully Buffoon. Drive the speed limit and observe all traffic rules.
7
Racist/Homophobic Buffon has an intense or irrational dislike or fear of people of other races and/or sexual orientation.
What is worse…The “F-word” or the “R-word?
Our Buffoon is also Homophobic in nature. He passes judgement equally as fast as he displays a wide range of negative attitudes and comments towards people who are identified or perceived as being LGBT.
He is also of the opinion that his race is far superior to members of a certain race who may share certain attributes which make that group as a whole less desirable or inferior as perceived by him.
Stemmed from his multiple complexes that only a clinical psychologist can diagnose the Buffoon’s perception and world view is largely flawed. A danger to himself and a society of normal people.
The seriousness of behavioural problem and pattern with sub-culture of loutish Buffoon behaviour must stop. Such tardiness is appalling and it needs to be dealt with.
Collectively we should have no tolerance and should not tolerate comments containing violence, racism, vulgarity, and profanity.
Which bring to the fact that this all changes; depending on who rules the world?
What do you think?
“Hamsap” is a Cantonese word for pervert which normally refer to a lecherous man.
Doris Lim is a popular freelance writer who blogs as Little Fish on travel and food stories here. Be sure to check out her other inspiring
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